"Walks with Tasha"....
I would like to apologize to the readers of this space
for being “down and unavailable” for about five days, and also for the infrequency
of posts over the last few weeks.
Renewals of domains, while relatively simple, are
nevertheless, a little tricky for an old grey-beard (now white) and forgetting
passwords is a constant for one who does not keep up-to-date digital files. The
infrequency, on the other hand, is the result of spending the last four weeks,
with my wife, beginning the adoption of a new Portugese Water Dog puppy. We
brought her home on March 31, and neither of us have had a full night’s sleep
until this week. Over the last three nights, however, Tasha has honoured us by
sleeping in her crate from approximately 9:15 p.m. through until 5:00 a.m.
Bringing her home, in a five-hour road trip, my wife held
her little body on her lap. Fortuitously, at one of the pit-stops on our way
home, another adopting family of another of the pups from the same litter, had
also stopped for their little one to relieve herself. Furry sisters actually
met and played for a very few minutes. Now at 6+ kilograms, Tasha is no longer
willing to sit on either of our laps, and this past week, she has undergone
what the vet called a growth spurt. And…it is not only her weight that is changing;
so too is her willingness to learn to do new ‘things’ every day. Simple commands,
through hand signals, like ‘sit,’ ‘down’ (lie down), ‘stand’ as well as the
first stages of what the trainer calls, “place,” a behaviour in which the pup
learns to stay in a specific place, on her mat, so that, for example, should
company arrive at the front door, the pup can and eventually will go to that
place, lie quietly until greetings and cordialities are over, before even
considering entering into the social activity. (We still have a lot of work to
do, before Tasha, a busy, highly observant, and even more highly intuitive and
imaginative four-legged creature, agrees to “stay” on her designated mat.
Reminding us both of taking children to the doctor,
Tasha’s visits to the vet have evoked those old and until now buried anxieties
about whether the doctor will find the patient quiet, compliant, agreeable to
whatever pokes and probes might be on the agenda for each visit, and the ‘doctor’s
‘heart will be warmed’ by our little critter. Interesting how, without even
thinking about it, adopting parents take on a kind of shared responsibility and
accountability for, not only how the puppy behaves, but also whether or not the
puppy develops an illness. Tasha, for her part, has developed an infection, for
which antibiotics have been prescribed, and fortunately, whoever produced the ‘chewable’
pills, made it very easy and more than tolerable for the pup to consume them.
Ironically, she actually seems to enjoy taking those little pills! Who would’a’thunk?
What has left a lasting impression on both of Tasha’s
adoptive parents is the openness, curiosity, gentleness, enthusiasm and
outright social gregariousness that this little creature seems to generate.
People begin to smile when coming toward us on our walks as soon as they focus
on this little one. Eyes light up, lips turn up, hands begin to move upward as
if to begin the body language of offering a happy, generous, welcoming greeting
to Tasha. Of course, for her part, she has also, even before they might have
taken notice, has begun to quiver and shake, occasionally with an almost
inaudible whimper of joy, to start her process of reaching out to them. And Tasha
is indiscriminate about whether these strangers/instant friends are male, female,
young, middle-aged or more elderly. Her body language sings, “I like you and I
trust that you like me too!” Just this morning, a kind and generous grandmotherly
woman bent to the ground, opened her hands to embrace Tasha, inquired about her
breed, her age, and expressed her joy in the encounter. Of course, when the “greeting”
is over, Tasha is still lingering with her body facing forward for the rest of
our walk while her head is turned completely backwards, and her feet seem, for
the moment, immoveable, as she strains to prolong this joyous moment in her
life. Uninhibited, exuberant, spontaneous, and almost uncontained in her joy at
these greetings, Tasha is like a little social-energizing puppy whose only interest
at the moment is the face, eyes, hands and voice of the “guest”. She has both permission
and psychic/emotional freedom, acceptable and even encouraged and sustained by
the ‘other’ to engage in a moment that seems somewhat memorable to these
greeters.
On one occasion, a retired couple paused, without
fully engaging, asked briefly about our ‘cute little puppy’s breed’ while a
couple of grad students waited behind the couple, for the chance to have their
own time with Tasha. They then seemed reluctant to depart after a visit of some
ten to fifteen minutes, and the occasion was exclusively spawned by this little
dog. Of course, the adults shared brief stories while Tasha settled into her
lying down and soaking in the affection. It is not only the puppy’s socialization
that is taking place in these encounters; it is also a serious degree of
socialization for the adopting parents, who, along with the rest of the people
on the planet, have been ‘shuttered’ for the last eighteen months. And, in our
bringing Tasha home, I for one never really calculated, or even considered,
what might happen on our daily walks with the new pup.
In these little scenes of endearment, one has to
notice how different they are, both in degree and in frequency, to the social
interactions on those same walkways, paths, trails, without Tasha, or
presumably, any other four-legged pet. Humans might occasionally smile, or tip
their head, or make brief eye contact, while passing on these paths; rarely, however,
does anyone utter more than a cryptic ‘hi’ or ‘nice day’. It is not to complain
about the difference, but merely to make note of the missed opportunities we
all engage in, without the ‘magnet/social ‘grease’ of the little puppy to
justify the encounter. Occasionally, while walking alone without Tasha, one
meets the same people at the same time, roughly in the same place, and after
several days of these passings-by, both will ‘utter’ a small grin; after
several weeks, perhaps then a “Great weather we are having!” might be shared.
With Tasha, none of that waiting, distance and time for familiarity and some security,
are apparently necessary.
We are a polite people, somewhat aloof, preferring to
remain “un-interfering” in another’s personal life. We are also as Canadians, a
study in what some might deem cool, if not actually cold, in our public
relations, in our office, workplace relations, (naturally with the obvious exceptions
that serve only to underscore our Canadian pattern). I have been walking some
of these same paths for the last dozen years, clearly less frequently, but
always with an eye, an ear and a consciousness of whether or not others were about
to take a step toward a greeting. Both my wife and I have commented, that in
some cities and towns, people seem more friendly, open and engaging in greeting
than in others. And those verbal notes are stored, as part of our shared ‘picture’
of the locality, even though we both realize that our samplings are incomplete and
merely anecdotal.
Nevertheless, anecdotal evidence, while hardly
classifying as social science research, does qualify as ‘impressions’ of
something intangible, something immeasureable, something almost imperceptible
about the ‘aura’ of a place. And the aura of a place, as we all know, does not
qualify partly because it cannot be quantified, measured, and thereby documented,
by the demographers in their ‘assessment’ of the quality of life in any specific
town or village. We are all very familiar with the unctuous greetings in so
many small towns in Ontario, especially in the summer when tourists are pouring
cash into the shops and restaurants, and the theatres and entertainment attractions,
cash that will sustain the people in those town throughout the winter when their
business lags. What seems clear, on reflection, however, after numerous ‘walks with
Tasha,’ is that there are literally dozens, if not hundreds of shades of greetings
between the rich and warm-hearted greetings of Tasha and the unctuous and superficial
and theatrical ‘play-acting’ to which many of us are subjected, in which we, as
Canadians, could actually stretch our stereotypical concept of ‘propriety’ to
the extent and to the degree that we acknowledge the other, that we are pleased
to share the outdoors, the freedoms, the beauty and the cordialities of the
same pathways (so significantly enhanced and grown over the last half century in
most towns and cities) without losing our hold on the “social distance” of the
Canadian expectation.
WE will never be ‘back-slappers’; we also will never
be ‘bear-huggers’ as the Russians are often depicted. We will not emulate
Texans whose loud and uninhibited cacophony and “strut” will never ‘fit’ within
our tight-skirted psychic wardrobe. And there are places, for example the Maritimes,
where it is said that warmth and familiarity and hospitality abound, (and to
which region a sizeable migration is currently underway) where the kinds of
walking/social experiences would presumably be very different.
It is not to suggest that there is a right and a wrong
way to greet strangers in public places. It is merely to take appreciative note
of the warmth, the grace, the generosity and the enthusiasm that walks with
Tasha seem to induce. To all of those who have stopped to greet her, a warm thanks
is extended. To those who might have considered greeting her, please consider
this an invitation from both Tasha and her adoptive parents. Whether or not you
“like” dogs is not really the question. The basic experience of sharing in the
exchange of a happy and open and spontaneous greeting even with a
furry-four-legged-fun-loving pet is one that is so warranted it might even be
the early seeds of a shift in the Canadian ‘shield’ of self-protective social
attitudes….
D’ya think?
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