Exploring resistances to change
"The world seems to like
the status quo; it resists change despite what the mystics say about change
being the only truth. . . . Sameness is one of the great categories of
existence. Look at your own life for evidence. On the one hand, you can
recognize all the changes and differences from ten years ago; on the other, you
can feel your personality, your nature, your ways are just as they always were.
New job, new ideas, new city — everything different; but meet your father or
former spouse and you are right where you always were — everything the same.
"What power it takes to
move one habit — as AA recovery groups have shown; just as it takes power to
move one shovelful of dirt from here to there. Little wonder that power can be
most simply defined in terms of work done. Work is so hard, the power required
so great because of the resistance factor. And that is why changes are so difficult
to achieve and so miraculous when they do occur." (James Hillman, Kinds of
Power)
Let’s take a look at the ways
we have succumbed to the entrapment of “resistance” and distorted our own
compliance to change by sacralising sameness, stability, tradition and habit.
Of course, we all now carry a
device with which we had no familiarity, or even anticipation only a couple of
decades ago. This keypad, as part of a portable, touch-screen, hard-drive,
soft-ware equation of algorithms was not even on the public horizon at the
beginning of this century. The camera pointing to the vehicle surround in our
cars was mere ‘science fiction’ only a decade ago. The microwave in every kitchen
and most offices was unthinkable only a quarter century ago. That
channel-sector that eliminates getting out of our tv-chairs was unimaginable
only a few decades ago……and yet!
How do we continually,
persistently and sometimes tragically cling to our perceptive lenses:
·
That we
are powerless to influence change in the fortunes of our towns, districts,
provinces/states, and nations
·
That all
politicians serve themselves first, and energize healthy public debates only if
and when such activity generates enhanced probabilities of re-election
·
That
all governments waste more revenues, spending on projects that memorialize
their legacy and reputation, without giving thought to enlightened ways of
protecting their citizens
·
That
all corporations spread lies and distortions about the “value” and the benefits
of their products, services, and hire armies of high-priced lawyers to protect and
defend them when they are exposed to the vulnerabilities that harm, wound, and
even kill their customers
·
That
any and all evidence of shared services, including libraries, hospitals, law
enforcement and government services like national health care are red flags
warning about the impending avalanche of socialism, or worse, communism.
·
That
Hollywood and the entertainment industry are agents of forces designed to
destroy the social morality and cohesion on which western civilization is
founded and grounded
·
That those
“events” of trauma in our past, buried in our Shadows for decades, are
impenetrable and resistant to revisiting and critical examination that
transforms them into “experiences” from which we can only learn deep and heretofore
secret insights, pointing to an enriched perspective of our identity and
purpose…and that those tragedies are “in the past” and need to be “left them”
as in “’let sleeping dogs lie”…
·
That
old people, inside our families and especially as part of a growing demographic
are obsolete, insulated from the contemporary trends, and resistant to adapting
to the new realities
·
That
people of different ethnic, linguistic and religious backgrounds are dangerous,
threatening and more seriously, intending to rob “natives” of their legitimate
rights, privileges and jobs
·
That
silos in our professions, in our offices/departments, families, schools
churches, hospitals, towns, counties, provinces and nations keep us safe from
the prospect of having to incorporate new, best methods and practices, thereby
having to relinquish the traditions and parameters of excellence that we have
already achieved
·
That
what happens on the other side of the world is neither of interest or
significance to what happens at home
·
That
recycling, and reframing our habits, our diets and our attitudes to
preservation of the environment are all wasted and useless, because nations
like China, India, and Russia are and will continue to pollute no matter what
we do
·
That
we want to preserve the history of our towns and villages as they have been for
decades or centuries, and outsiders are neither encouraged nor welcomed where
we live, because they will only bring change and with it dangers that we are
unprepared to confront
·
That
young people are too dependent on both illicit drugs and now legalized pot, as
their way of avoiding all of their responsibilities, and demonstrating their insouciance
about their shared duty to protect their own futures as well as that of their
children
·
That
the “old days” were predictable pictures of calm altruism and compassion, as
compared with the level of anger, and depression we are experiencing these days
·
That
the more we learn about how to heal patients suffering deadly diseases, the
more those diseases morph into new forms that demonstrate the futility of our
pursuit of various cures and healing medication
What if, on the other hand, we
were open to thinking differently about how we approach discombobulations,
tragedies, interruptions in our normal routines, losses of relationships, jobs,
and even life itself….
What if, embedded in each of
these painful experiences, lie nuggets so golden and so healing and so
prophetic that we ignore the pursuit of their messages at our peril?
What if, rather than medicate
each and every irritant, mental anguish, depression and fear and anger, we
pause, reflect and learn to “mine” the pain to ascertain what it might be
telling us about who we are, and about how we might grow and develop from the excavation?
What if, given the lengthy list
of repeated tasks we each face every day, we re-thought each of them, not as
drudgery, as boring and de-humanizing but as gift and examples of opportunities
of deeper service in the larger cause of making the world a better place, of making the service
more enhanced as examples of our discipline, our generosity and our altruism?
What if, given the expectation
of insult, pain, offence and mis-representation that we know will inevitably
come our way from a variety of sources, we imbued each other person as an agent
of the divine, as a spark of inspiration, as a delivery agent of a message we
could well benefit from hearing and receiving, as our starting point?
What if, abandoning our expert
critical parent judge and competitive need to win and to dominate, we adopted a
perspective as supportive ally, and helping friend, and empathic colleague,
fully convinced that such a perspective requires discipline, collaboration and
new learning…and that our individual and our collective survival were dependent
on this new attitude and perspective?
What if, having taken responsibility
for our unique tragedies and traumas, through supported re-flection, meditation,
and quiet, we put all of the therapists and pharmaceutical industries (for
psychic pain) out of business?
Yesterday, Bell Canada sponsored
“Let’s Talk” day, encouraging those who have experienced various forms of
mental illness to talk openly about how they were impacted by those
experiences, how they dealt with them and how they continue to offer models of
courage, hope and determination for others in similar distress. We applaud this
initiative, and encourage all who are secretly in emotional and mental anguish
to talk to a trusted friend, family member or colleague. None of us lives alone,
and pain and anguish are not the exceptions we experience in our lives: they
are the norm.
It is our pattern, habit and
blindness that keep those many “closet doors” closed on our private pain,
embarrassment and vulnerability. Pride, unfortunately, locks many of those doors,
in the form of the anticipation of inevitable alienation, rejection and
abandonment, should we take the difficult step of disclosure. That attitude,
perception and belief, however, is at the core of the problem….it is another of
those “traps” of belief that we continue to pretend keep us safe, when the
precise opposite is true.
And that trap, of our own collective
design and adoption, is neither fossilized nor engraved in granite.
It is another of the mental “traps”
that impede our getting to know who we really are, and thereby impeding our
loved ones from getting to know us.
Is that the kind and degree of
secrecy that we can honestly support and foster?